I'm Always Write!

"Don’t trust a person that doesn’t have a long time best friend…"

Mon, 10 Dec 2012 22:21:48 -0600

“Don’t trust a person that doesn’t have a long time best friend…”

- Pete Viña Jr

"She must be a lesbian, because she’s not staring at me!"

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 00:31:54 -0600

““She must be a lesbian, because she’s not staring at me!””

- PTK

"She just has that innocent look that makes me want to spread her legs.."

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 00:31:10 -0600

““She just has that innocent look that makes me want to spread her legs..””

- PTK

The Return--- the sequel..and marriage

Sun, 18 Nov 2012 23:36:26 -0600

So looking down at the previous posts I noticed that I already had a post dedicated to being “back.” Well now I guess there are two. After another hiatus from the blog and from writing in general, I noticed that my writing goes in spurts based on how my life is going. NOT GOOD.

This past year 2012 has been a bit of a mini roller coaster, however there were very few ups. As I look back, there was a point where things could not go wrong, and I had to be thankful for the many opportunities thrown my way. Then it seemed that the bottom just completely fell out and I was left standing in the smoke picking up the pieces.

THEN IT ALL CHANGED

At some point during the summer I made a decision. That I would start saying fuck it and taking more chances. I made up my mind that the things that are important to me, I am willing to struggle for as long as it takes to get! (namely, soccer, writing, acting)

There’s a certain sense of peace, when you are broke going after your dreams. I worked a day job and it put me in a bad spot. It was not until I got out of it (cutbacks) and back into the fast cash (bartending) that my days opened up and I realized what it is I really want to do. When things don’t seem to be going your way, you can sulk, or laugh and start creating ways to make them go your way. Thankfully I had family and friends.

I was recently featured on a TV show. This was the 3rd time I was on a TV show, but first with REAL face time. Even though it was a bit part and millions of people have done what I did, the outpouring of affection turned on a switch inside me. Call it a life changing moment or a point in time that in the future you can trace back to. Perhaps it can be referred to as the “shit or get off the pot moment,” Whatever it was, I embraced it and have been motivated and more involved with some of the new people I have met in my life to accomplish great things. I hope others have experienced the same.

SO WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?

Probably nothing. This month I picked the notebooks again, as well as the camera to start recording the things that I know will one day be successful. I am also co-hosting a great event at the end of the month to promote a friends book and raise awareness for some charities that are important to me. All of these things could not have been possible without taking a little bit of a leap off of a pier that I was not used to.

Another thing I noticed this year is that more of my friends got engaged then ever before. Personally, I think it’s the impending Mayan calendar coming to an end. Maybe for all of them it is just that time. I look in the mirror, a single man at 33 and wonder…hmmmmm… And that’s as far as I get.

I am happy for all of my friends! It got me down for a second; I think I had the “always a bridesmaids” blues, until I realized something: Right now, I am free to go after any and everything in this world and conquer it, without the worries of supporting a family or the lack of freedom (financial resources pending). That is not to say that these people are being held back, nor is it saying that I would not be doing the same things if I had the perfect little women by my side; I just meant that my life is simple right now and I have the time to do these adventures!

The great thing about being one of the ‘last men standing’ is that I will have the benefit of all my best friends at my wedding with their ‘best friends.’ It also means that my impending bachelor party will now be the party that everyone and their father will be looking forward to! So there’s a silver lining there I guess.

Now, it’s back to the lab, to practice my craft; get a few more ideas onto paper. Make a few more TV appearances, and see if I can’t hit all those goals and give an acceptance speech some day! So honestly, be on the lookout for me, and more blog posts as I get into the swing of things! This week I start filming a mini-documentary based on a friend (thanks to a phone-call) and his journey. It might not make sense every day we film, but I know I can put something together that will make it all worthwhile!!!!

Now back to my wine… (hiccup)

Guess who's back..the ball buster..and his artistry

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 03:10:40 -0600

Well, it’s been a long time since I last blogged on here but I am trying to jump start the writing process again and have been feeling good lately. Over the past 6 months or so it seems I lost sight of certain things that I wanted to do or accomplish. I shouldn’t say lost sight, more like back-burnered the goals I had in life. The good news is I think I have most of that out of my system and its back to full speed ahead. World domination.

During this time I have had my share of ups and downs and have felt I dealt with them like a champ. I have lost some old friends, but have made some new ones. I’ve seen some friends go through some hard times as well that pale in comparison to my own.

Then one day, as I was ball busting a friend, I realized that I need to go back to doing the things I love and eliminating the things I don’t. Funny, you really learn about yourself when you are trying to comically degrade someone else and make them feel 5 years old. After that, I picked up a pen…then I thought of all the things that I truly enjoy and decided to incorporate those back in my life. Writing, soccer, working out, high school basketball.

HS BASKETBALL-Yes, that last one may have thrown you for a loop, but I enjoy watching quality high school basketball in Chicago as I feel its the purest form of the game left. This has been an exceptional year because the high school I grew up across the street from and was raised to like is on a tear through Chicago and making a run at the state title.

WRITING-Many of the half written notebooks have been picked up again, and I’ve had plenty of new ideas

WAIT WAIT WAIT…. what was I talking about…. oh yeah, the ancient art of ball busting. In some circles, specifically where I grew up, we just called it talking shit! Over the years I have developed my own style based on the many cultures I have been exposed to in this fine artistry. In Maywood, my fellow “brotha’s” found it necessary not to degrade you, but EVERY member of your family, with your mother being the large trophy; usually ending in a fist fight….

Then I went to college and no one can be more brutal than your fellow college soccer teammates, who have zero regard for anything in your personal life (which is why we all bought bedroom locks sophomore year). Which soccer team you support, your native country, the colors of the jerseys, it’s all fair game and usually goes wayyyyyy overboard with insults. It eventually stops because you realize you have something better to do, like drink or call a girl….errrrrr… I mean homework…

In Little Italy, I learned a twist to this sacred form of man-hood. You can make fun of someone to a point that they can’t take it anymore, and once you are broken and think the insults will stop, IT REALLY STARTS AND GETS TURNED UP A NOTCH with NO sympathy. If you ever need to learn composure, sit in a social club on a Friday on Taylor St and drink limitless Miller Lites, only you better not be guilty of doing something stupid recently.

But like any form of art, to be good at it, you have to truly appreciate it. When someones work is better than yours, you can stand back and admire the thought (all 5 seconds of it) they put into their craft. You have to study and constantly be working on it. Thank God English soccer is in the crunch of the season, no shortage there. When soccer season ends, baseball season begins and there will be no shortage of idiot Cub fans to salivate over as they continue to add years to their drought (see I’m already starting). So the moral of the story is, amongst friends, ball-busting is a true form of friendship that can stir the pot at any boring social function, and increase the fun at parties! Only don’t take it too far, if you mention Arsenal’s trophy debacle, that’s where we fall off and I gut you!!!! Oh wait, I mean, no I’m not sensitive or anything…

I like holding a grudge.... and you should too

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 16:40:05 -0600

Now before you go off and write me off as a sick an demented person again, i think all of you only wish you had clarity like me.

Unfortunately, I have been both blessed and cursed with the ability to remember almost all of a persons actions actions that has any bearing on my life. That’s not to say I don’t forget the occasional drunken night out, however if something made an impact in a positive or negative way on me, then you can bet I will never forget it. In looking back at my life and the people that have come through it, not a day goes by that I don’t see a face and automatically remember 2 or 3 stories or instances with that person in seconds. I’m sure everyone’s brain works that way in some capacity, however the way mine works is that I automatically get tuned into whether that person wronged me in the past, or had an influence on my life positively. It’s almost a re-introduction everytime I see someone.

This happens more often and crystal clear with the wide end of both the good and bad spectrum….

So if you did something that not necessarily pissed me off, but got me mad as hell, then you can bet that its the first thing that comes to mind every time I see your face or hear your name. Right there, you’re fucked….The same goes for if you went out of your way for me or shared a great memory inside my noodle. If I say hi the first thing on my mind is “oh that one time…that was awesome.”

This puts me in a position where most times people tell me, “geeez pete, how do you remember that?????” or “you like to hold a grudge don’t you?” I have been accused and can agree that I have a tremendous bitter side to me; one I need to let go, but this brain wont let me all the time. So I need constant slaps and reminders from those close to me.

No, I don’t like to hold a grudge….I like remembering things both good and bad, and if it is negative then that is unfortunate. I can not make it go away in my head. This trait makes writing easy, especially because I can remember all the stories that helped shape me and contribute to my creative side.

Back to the grudge…..people like to tell me, “can’t you just forgive and forget?”

NO!!!!!!!!! and why the fuck should I

Sure i can forgive you for something you have done, and then again, if it was bad enough, maybe I can’t. But you can believe that I will always remember it (unless Alzheimer kicks in) and I will be looking and judging your next move.

Why should I or anyone have to forget the past? It makes us who we are and the past is where we come from. If anything maybe it is helping the assholes of the world to wake up and change their douche bag ways. If you are the person that has been treating people like shit, then why should I have to forgive, forget, or let go? Ultimately, you’re the asshole!!!

So no, I don’t forget…I may carry on if I must; but many of my actions in life are carefully calculated in some respect, even if they seem care-free. You can bet that even in my happiest moment, sitting in the back of my head is that distant memory letting me know that maybe you are trying to change, but you are very capable of doing certain things and probably will fuck up again.

I’m not perfect, but I strive to give everyone a fair chance and have a positive outlook. Once you fuck me over, then you’re DONE!

So cheers to the positive people of the world. I’m not always judging, just watching my step with others, and you should do the same. Would you like an example? ha…no chance… can’t read my poker face… :-)

PTK

Welcome Back Pete.....

Tue, 22 Feb 2011 00:08:59 -0600

Well, its been a few months. True, I have been gone from the world of writing, but I now plan on returning with a bang focused on world domination.

In the past few months to sum up, I have experienced new highs and new lows in my life. I suppose that took away the motivation from the keyboard.

I received my degree in the mail and was given it by my parents in a lovely frame, which left me speechless. Yep, I said it, speechless. This was a journey that millions of people have undertaken, HOWEVER, not many have it spread out over 13 years.

In this respect i would allow at this time my ego to take over and say that my graduation and the time-line involved makes me truly unique. Funny to think that I have had some of the same friends for the last 13 years, as well as living in the Taylor Street area for the same amount of time.

So what now? It’s back to business full time. Aside from my grueling bartending shifts, its back to the path of world domination. I’ll be adding my posts now and focusing on a career that I have decided to give a shot at. I can not at this time reveal all of my intentions due to my anxiety, but be sure to know that you will all be informed when the time is write ;-)

I can tell you that the screenwriting will be taking a new direction, one of motivation and that I would love to have something completed FULLY by the summer. I have 2 or 3 projects in the works with a 4th one, a sitcom slowly showing progress. However it is hard keeping all the ideas separate and making them unique.

Back to the banter….

We recently got bitch slapped with 26 inches of snow on our asses here in Chicago. This was something I have never seen or experienced, so what better way to do that then to run out and play in it!!! I dragged the Bear out for a fun filled day in the snow complete with shopping and run in’s with the police. Apparently even though Lake Shore Drive is a public road, the fuzz does not allow you to walk down the middle of it, even if there is not one car!!!

After avoiding getting arrested, we headed to the Cheesecake Factory with the rest of the morons silly enough like me to venture out in a blizzard. Hey, I figure if those servers have to work, I might as well take advantage and help them pay the rent.

Then it was off to dig out the car that I recently inherited over the winter months; with the solemn vow to slash the 4 tires of anyone who dare take my parking spot. Well, that and breaking their window, I was advised by another friend that any cream base soup on the windshield does wonders as well. As luck would have it I would get my chance. Unfortunately it was the car of someone I knew that actually made and honest mistake. DAMN! Now I have to wait til next winter…

…and eat the soup.

So as I look toward the spring, I have many trips planned again finally. Something I have been longing for the past couple of years. With this should come many new adventures and many new posts about things I love and the things that piss the shit out of me, conveyed in the only way I know how…with mass amounts of swearing and colorful language! :-) So stay tuned, and stay logged in…for those of you that are on there, I am on Twitter as well…. @petevinajr

talk to you soon boppers..

RESPECT YOUR ELDERS? why?

Sat, 16 Oct 2010 15:23:57 -0500

There’s something that has always bothered me; what else is new right? When people say “respect your elders.” Why must we do that? To me it seems its because we feel sorry for them… because they are old and frail? Cuz they lived a long life? ok, but for the most part, does that warrant respect…we should all strive to live a long healthy life…. I return to 7th grade. While playing in a basketball game for my grammar school, we were getting WHOMPED with about one minute left. The game was clearly out of reach. Well the opposing coach, decided to make about 8 subs, and not all at once…yeah, im sure he wanted everyone to play, but 8? it looked like ants were scurrying!! So when he was done I looked at him with my arms up and said, “Anybody else?” Well the ref did not like that coming from a bright 11 year old and said, “HEY!, watch your mouth and respect your elders!!!” trying to embarrass me. UM? WHY?

I’m trying to compete, and i was pissed we were losing….how does that warrant a “respect” comment? This coach was a moron and didn’t know what the fuck he was doing. I DO NOT respect that. Since that day 20years ago I have had an issue with “respecting your elders.” If a person gains my respect, it is not due to age, but their character and attitude. It seems that if we just assume respect for our elders then we are selling them short. I will NOT automatically respect you because someone says so.

I never really got to know my grandfathers as well as i would have liked too, but from stories, jokes and other family members that i was told, they were the kind of gentlemen that got the respect they deserved, not because they were old, but because they were “helluva guys.”

When i started bar-tending I was introduced to 2 extraordinary people, who happened to be my co-workers. One was a 5foot nothing ball buster named Sonny who smoked about 5 packs of non-filter Pall Malls a day, and the other was a witty elder statesman named Rudy. These 2 people can keep you up for days with stories, such as when Rudy’s family used to “bootleg wine in the basement of their house on Crawford Avenue, and sell it to the Irish coppers.” or when Sonny would, as he would say, “in dem days” be out for 2 days drinking and just lock up the bar when he was done because the owner left!!! ha….

These are people that I respect not cuz they are old, but because I could see myself hanging out with them and because they are 2 REALLY FUCKING COOL MEN! In fact I still keep in touch with them! Age has nothing to do with it, they just happen to have lived a few more years than me….in Rudy’s case, about 113 more years. Respect is earned, not assumed because you are old as fuck. And everyone should dish it out based on character whether you are 10 or 110 years old.

Let me paint you another picture….. Remember back when you were growing up, there were those people you made fun of? or the fucking morons you had in school, the ones you just couldn’t stand. or the complete idiots who didn’t know their asshole from their mouth. You looked at them and said, “Geez, what a fucking moron…” Well you know what, those people age as well and grow up. You may encounter an “elder” and they could be that fucking moron aged 60 years. There are stupid people in the world and just because they lived a long time, doesn’t mean they wised-up. What do you do when complete idiots grow up? They don’t change….that’s why politics are so screwed up.

That person someone told you to respect could have been the dumbest, most idiotic booger eating shit-head of his or her day…. right? Just because you collect Social Security, doesn’t mean you have an IQ or better manners. And they probably shit their pants now. Ha! so if you think about it, the life cycle repeats itself….you wear diapers when you are an infant and when you are older…but we don’t reallllly respect little kids…we yell at them and try to shape their minds, knowing that we are right and they are wrong because they are young…why not do the same with silver foxes?

So, I say fuck old people or just automatically respecting your elders. If a person is truly worth it then they will gain the respect of others. I don’t look at Sonny and Rudy as “old men” i need to respect. I respect them because they are my friends, and I treat them the same way I would want to be treated, regardless of their age. Because when it comes down to it, you could put them in a room full of senior citizens and I guarantee they will stand out after they find the morons in the group.. people are people..That coach on the opposing team back in 7th grade probably was that kid that walked around in school with his shirt tucked into his fly and shoe laces undone with snot hanging from his nose and smelled like shit…its not his fault, there’s always going to be that person. And then they grow up and have moron kids and THAT cycle repeats itself…..

I will probably be old and senile one day for writing this as a result of my many sins, but at least I didn’t adhere to the politically correctiveness of blatant bullshit….

And the good thing about being senile is that you meet new people everyday!!!

I ran a marathon, I'm a big LOSER!!!! READ PEOPLE

Tue, 12 Oct 2010 02:12:00 -0500

Yep…once again i said it!!! Now that I got the attention of everyone, including hopefully some friends that have previously taken part in a 26.2 mile epic journey of selfishness, I will gladly explain. HA!

Every year I am reminded of how I hate ColumbusT Day and everything that goes with it. Christopher himself as well as the running of the Chicago marathon. I lived right along the marathons path for the past 13 years and have yet to see ONE runner go by. Do you know why? I’m usually sleeping. i really don’t care. Never have, never will. I honestly think that the majority of the people that run in a marathon have MAJOR self esteem issues and need a quick dose of me and Dr. Phil (yes, Oprah reference, but i still hate her).

Now before you get upset at me again, there are exceptions to Petey’s hate of marathoners. Obviously being an athlete, I have the utmost respect for those that take their sport seriously and train hard at all times, (er, Kenya). People that have overcome tremendous obstacles in their life, hardships, disease, etc are excluded as well. Many of us don’t understand what it feels like to truly live until your life is put to the test. For those that have overcome any hardship and have taken part in a marathon, I commend you and your determination to fight the good fight.

My fellow friends who are runners, be it cross-country or track or to stay in shape, are also excluded because it is something they have done for the better part of their life and are capable (UIC rocks!).

I know that at this point in my life I wont kid myself. I can not run a marathon. I am not capable physically or mentally. I played soccer and that’s good enough for me.

I know my limitations.

BUT FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DON’T, I laugh at your demise or feeling of accomplishment. LEAVE THE RUNNING TO THE RUNNERS!!!!!

Here’s an example…. “..no I cant go out tonight, I have to do my miles….”

For months on end we hear from people, that want to run a marathon, just to say they did it or to feel better about themselves, about their training regimen. I get it, you have a marathon in October…do you really have to point it out allllllll summer? We know, you are running in it. You don’t hear me saying “I have a pub crawl in November. I better get started in April.” And believe me, thats a marathon unto itself (and I will win).

WE GET IT! You want attention for that ONE year, maybe two. I respect those that do it with consistency and feel they don’t have to remind us EVERY TIME we see them that they are running the marathon!!! We already know that they train.

Is it any wonder why we have the medics on stand by for a marathon? Your body is NOT used to such a rigorous endeavor!!! Stop kidding yourself. You have low self esteem and need to feel good about your self. That is very selfish and annoying. Notice how many times I said self. HA!

If you want to feel good about yourself? Teach a child to read!!!! There’s a sense of accomplishment! Do something positive in your life without constantly reminding people of what it is, looking for the “oh wow, good luck” or “that’s great, way to go YOU.” You won’t get my respect, or that of others.

Okay…..so you survived the marathon. Way to go. You got all your friends and family kissing your ass, asking your time, how you feel…etc. You commanded the attention for the entire weekend, now its over. So why do you have to walk around the NEXT DAY with your marathon tshirt on and medal?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? As if we didn’t get enough, now that its over, we get to hear and SEE more of this shit just so you can feel good about yourself? I couldn’t walk 5 feet down Michigan Ave today without seeing one of those medals or red t-shirts saying “LaSalle Bank ATTENTION WHORE” Take that medal and give it to mommy so she can put it on the fridge. Again, no disrespect to my athletic friends and runners and those overcoming obstacles. But you wonder why alllll these people pass out every year and are taken to the hospital?

If I wasn’t in the company of my Bear, I would have went up to no less than 5 of those people today and said, “you ran the marathon? get fucked!” The end result of the original marathon was the death of a man. Are you trying to recreate that? I dislike people that command attention for bad reason. There must not be any other excitement in your life. Ha…but that’s me….If you want attention, write a blog… :-)

on deck…. old people..

OPRAH is the DEVIL

Wed, 06 Oct 2010 14:53:18 -0500

Now I’m sure i will probably have one of Oprah’s minions come down and swing the mighty sword to delete this post, however I don’t think I am that famous and recognizable yet for her to care.

I think Ill make this post short and straight to the point. Do any of you think that one person should possess the power that she inevitably has? Im not sure on all the details of the “million little pieces” debacle, but here’s what I do know. Yes a man lied, however all he did was expose the truth behind the horrible institution that is Oprah’s Book Club. Basically, if you pass HER test, then you will become and instant millionaire due to the fact that she has millions of women brainwashed into thinking that EVERYTHING she touches is good, and right. NO PERSON other than God should have that kind of power. So this guy writes a great story, however lies and said it was true, but in the end he got all the exposure he needed…made a fortune off Oprah and showed me why she should be banned from the earth. Do you think oprah REALLLLLLLLLY cares about anything other than being a billionaire… Isn’t that why her tax write-off of a school went under? Or how about the fact that she will never have any real hip-hop artists on her show? Probably doe to the fact that the foundation of hip-hop is urban truths from the streets. Let me repeat that, TRUTH. It is not up to her to tell you which way to vote, this falls on the small brained people as well that follow her advice and can not build an opinion on their own. And she absolutely takes advantage of every last bit of her power. Its true, I’m an ego-maniac and hope that one day I can blink and control some aspect of my life based on the willingness of others; however I would also listen to those and urge them NOT to always take what Im saying as RIGHT…. a bit of a contradiction of my blog, yes, but we are talking about MILLIONS of people. You can look deep into the years of Oprah’s show, countless magazine covers of herself, tv station, and see that I am making perfect sense when I say she is a devil and needs to be slain….

"Fantasy Football drafts, are this century’s circle jerks."

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 14:30:09 -0500

“Fantasy Football drafts, are this century’s circle jerks.”

- Pete Vina Jr

BEARS RULE, Fantasy Football is GAY and Oprah is EVIL !!!!

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 00:30:45 -0500

And by GAY, I mean in the South Park way where Gay means bad. Not in any negative homosexual way. But if it gets the point across, well then take it anyway you want.

Here’s a scenario:

You are at a bar enjoying the Bears game. Friends are around, beer is flowing, and #54’s a plenty. Well the Bears are losing, and playing horrible. They are down 20 points, but somehow the defense scores 2 TD’s on great turnovers. Well then Devin Hester runs back a return and gets them right back in the game. All of a sudden you realize the Bears seem to be pulling off what could be an unbelievable shocker. They should have been winning all along, however they are allowed one bad game a year, and several more thanks to Rex’s 6 TO’s that game. Urlacher is playing out of his mind and comes up with a huge tackle on a running back named Edgerrin James.

Sound familiar?

All of a sudden from the end of my table I hear… “shit!!!!!” from a fellow black and and blue squad member.

ME: “Why are you pissed? We took the lead, and may pull this one out????!!!”

MORON: “Don’t get me wrong, I want the Bears to win, but I got Edgerrin James on my Fantasy team and need him to have a good game.”

Before I calmly explain how bad I blew up, the game in question was Bears vs Cardinals, 2006. Remember? Arizona “let us off the hook.” We the Bears, “were who we thought they were.”

Now, I went berserk and almost made things awkward for life with an acquaintance of a friend. Never in my wildest sports dreams did I ever think a simualted computer scenario could block a persons loyalty to their team. Obviously, loyalty went straight out of the window. So allow me to re-iterate:

FANTASY FOOTBALL IS GAY!!

I’m so sick of watching a game even without my beloved Bears and having someone in the room go, “hey can i use your laptop” or “I can’t believe i didn’t start him this week.”

I have way more respect for the degenerate gambler who at least put his basket of eggs on an outcome rather than points accrued with only regard to team defense.

If you play fantasy football, in my opinion, you probably never picked up a sport in your life and are living through the fantasy of others. Now before you get all pissy at me, its true, I played soccer and have many teammates who play this homo erotic man ritual and I have no excuse for them. But I’m sure the majority really never got into physical sports and now must live through their fake managerial dreams one season a year. Its called fantasy football for a reason!! IT is not real and neither are you. If you want a fantasy, pick up a Club International or a Hustler magazine and pine away like the rest of us do!!!

I also have close friends I know never played sports who play fantasy football and we get along just fine. HOWEVER, they know I hate it, they know my reasons why, and they know not to utter the words, “fantasy” or the phrase “start him” in my presence during any Bears watch party. BEARS ARE SACRED!

I mean, these are the Bears!!! The Monsters of the Midway!! Keepers of the best team of ALL-TIME in the famed ‘85 Bears. The team that has more Hall of Famers than any other football team. AND YOU ARE THROWING YOUR LOYALTY AWAY FOR A FEW EXTRA POINTS ON A RUNNING PLAY IN A FARCE OF A GAME PLAYED AGAINST OTHER MEN ON A COMPUTER? You deserve to be stripped of your man-hood, taken out back and forced to watch Matthew McConoughy movies!! And this coming from the guy who watches Gossip Girl….but that’s a whole ‘nother post.

I recently asked a friend if he would be interested in seeing Billy Idol and SLASH in concert. My reply was, “that’s the night of my fantasy draft.” Your balls don’t get more shriveled up than that. Trading 2 huge rock MANLY icons, for a night in someones house picking guys for a game that will NOT get your team to the Super Bowl, will NOT put W’s on the board, but WILL make you nervous and searching for a laptop and reaching for your blackberry at a bar where the ritual of football is sacred. In his defense, albeit minor…he does play for larger sums of money.

I hate fantasy football, i am a true sports fan that lives and dies with my team and wishes eternal damnation on anything that gets in the way of Super Bowl dreams. Never will I put my Bears aside for fantasy points, even if we are up 50-0, I want more!!!! Hate me if you will, but next time you watch, think about it. There is someone there you want to punch as well!!! Think about that as we start a new football season and you prepare to dust of the jerseys you plan on wearing. Remember what that jersey say on the front. It doesn’t say FF champion. Because if it did, I would already have ripped it off you and made you my BITCH!

OPRAH SUCKS AND IS PURE EVIL, but I will post that tomorrow!!!!

College Kids, tipping, midgets and swamp people!!!

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 15:55:36 -0500

Some heading right?

Well let’s just dive right in. We are in a recession, this I know. I moonlight as a bartender, and just because you are in college (like me, ha) DOES NOT mean you are exempt from tipping the bartender!!!! Even when i was a legit college student, i had a few bucks extra to give the bartender for THEIR SERVICE!!! Never in my 31 years have i seen a bigger epidemic than this “bartender stiffing.” Quit being a cheap ass prick and leave AT LEAST a dollar or two! ESPECIALLY if the first words out of your mouth are, “what’s on special,” or “what is your cheapest drink.” Yes, I understand you are broke with daddy’s credit card for emergencies and want that dollar PBR, and cheap shot, but that does NOT mean you can act like a cheap asshole, because I wont have sympathy for you. AND NO, I don’t understand how it is for you, because I’m not like you!!! You all deserve a slap and an education!

Lets stay on this topic and discuss other things you should avoid saying to a bartender: “what should i drink” “surprise me” “make me something fruity” “can i get a girlie shot”…..if you do NOT know what to drink then stay at home. Whatever happened to the days where kids were going to the fridge to get their dad’s a beer when he asked and opening it for them because you thought it was cool? No dad? What about an uncle, aunt, at a BBQ..etc. That’s how most people learned about beer, alcohol and the names of drinks. Now everyone is too busy with reality TV and just acting stupid. I really think many of these UN-EDUCATED college drinkers need to stay home and study on how to act when out in public!!!! That, or stop drinking. Also, don’t try to take the wristband off and give it to someone, or stockpile drinks when the party package is about to end!!!

It was guys like me that INVENTED those tricks and good knowledgeable people know all the scams. I’M TEN YEARS AHEAD OF THE CURVE.

When you come up to the bar, have an idea, especially since on a busy night you had at least 5 minutes of waiting to think about what to order.

There, I’m done….in the meantime, COME TO Vintage Lounge tonight and every Thursday for College Night….guess who’s waiting for you!!??

SWITCHING GEARS!!!—— let me tell you something i discovered. There’s a show that features two of my favorite things: DOGS and MIDGETS!!! Midgets make me laugh for some strange uncontrollable laughing gas reason.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???? I almost lost it and busted a gut when I discovered Pit Boss!!! MIDGETS and dogs???? Who is the creative Einstein behind this??? I want to meet that person and worship the ground they walk on. I can hardly get through an episode without crying my eyes out with laughter!!!!!

UNTIL…..

I discovered Swamp People….

HOLY SHIT!!! wait until you see these fucking people, hunting alligators in the Louisiana bayou. I’m not sure who’s English is worse, me when I’m typing fast or them. If I had a dollar for every tooth in each of the stars’ mouths, i’d have about $4.75!!!! I can’t explain this, but I DVR’d the entire season.

MIDGETS and REDNECKS = goodstuff…

I’ll leave you with that, cuz I can’t stop laughing!!!!

"Never critique someones writing if you haven’t read it. Ignorant."

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 18:30:53 -0500

“Never critique someones writing if you haven’t read it. Ignorant.”

- Pete Vina Jr

Men are WRITE 99% of the time

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 17:24:52 -0500

Ok, maybe not that much, but pretty close…. here’s a story for you that has sort of a funny ending.

The other day, the Bear and I (my gf) are taking a stroll when she asks the question:

BEAR-“you are wearing those shorts again. Don’t you think it’s time to wash them?”

PETE-“ummmm no…I’ve worn them only like 5 times since the last load of laundry, they have about 5 more wearings left!!”

the shorts in question are Nike soccer training shorts given to me from a friend that gets tons of gear for free! they are truly comfortable and I wear them as lounge shorts, not to work out or sweat in. most men have a couple pairs of favorite shorts, be it athletic or khaki. The conversation continues… :

BEAR-“yeah but you sweat in those and certain parts of your body sweat in them”

while this is true, i knew why i was wearing them and had the Bear

PETE-“yes that’s true my love, but that’s why i’m wearing boxers. I shower everyday and wear clean boxers for that reason. the boxers are the last line of defense.

you may at this point think I’m sick….just wait….

BEAR-“that’s still gross…they need to be washed even though you don’t have stains and they may not smell.”

a valid point…….

PETE-“let me ask you this babe….when was the last time you washed your gym shoes? You put your feet into socks and close them off from the world allowing them to sweat. That sweat in turn gets into your gym shoes causing odor. You wear your gym shoes EVERYDAY!!! now you may change your socks, just like i change my boxers, but they are still cut off from air circulation for the most part… NOT TO MENTION you walk around in gym shoes outside, could quite possibly step in dog shit among other things on the ground, and can track that into our home. I on the other hand do not roll around on the ground in these mesh, free air flowing soccer shorts. which is also why I usually wear sandals, to let my feet breathe.”

her response…..

BEAR-“hmmm…maybe I should wash my gym shoes more often…”

Ode to homework and strippers!!!

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 17:02:10 -0500

To clear up any confusion, I am not purposely discussing rather R-rated topics to seem “daring” or on the “edge.” Most of the time this is the mindset I have, which leads to NUMEROUS friends telling me, “get your mind out of the gutter.” Well, here’s something to think about that I’ve been saying for years.

MEN: You will get straight A’s if you study in strip clubs! provided you don’t have a problem.

For those of you that don’t know me as well as you think, i HATE strip clubs!! I absolutely despise them!! I know…..”yeah right Pete, everyone says that.” No, really I think they are a total waste of money and time for no reason. I don’t think they are demeaning or reflect women in a manner less tasteful, I merely am thinking from a financial standpoint. I have no problem whats so ever with a girl that wants to get naked. I can think of a million other things to blow 200 bucks on that would actually put a smile on my face. I could sit at home with the nectar of the Gods (miller lite) and and swim in 180 single dollar bills. You could get a pretty decent watch for that money. I get pissed if I blow 200bucks at a bar, and you expect me to just give it away to some girl? AND PAY FOR MY DRINKS? This of course is after I gave some wannabe tuff guy douchebag at the door money so just for the privilege to blow more money.

For this reason, my girlfriend (the bear) LOVES when I get stuck going with friends for the occasional bachelor party or Vegas trip. She truly knows that I am NOT having fun, am of no risk to our relationship, and would rather be sitting around watching soccer with a drink in my hand. Its not fair to me!!!!!!

THE UPSIDE: I was taught that the best place to do homework is a place where you feel comfortable, can study at your own pace, take occasional breaks, and not be put under pressure. I have been telling people for years that these dark domains of such cigarette, raspy proclamations of “wanna dance” suit myself and others precisely for this purpose. I mean think about it……

1. You have a table to yourself, sure the lighting my not be great, but it beats the high beams of a library.

2. You are sure to hear some great music, which always makes studying a bit more comfortable.

3. If you want something to drink, they have it….and for the occasional hillbilly party out of town, you may encounter a strip club with a full on buffet…DONE

4. Finally, I find it very relaxing to know that there are half naked or fully naked women around ready to serve me or just in my presence….sometimes my eyes hurt from reading so much. What better way to get them back into gear than looking up and seeing 10 or so girls walking around naked. RELAXING? UM I THINK SO!!!

Unfortunately, I have never put this theory to the test, but I’m pretty proof positive that my focus would rival the best A.D.D. drugs available. WARNING— if you are a strip-club-aholic, disregard and go back to your 9-5 and ritalin!

You may be thinking, “what the hell is wrong with you?” Well, there’s A LOT wrong with me. However, if I’m single, and I have money to burn, I would much rather do it in a bar loaded with women. Drinks are cheaper, the selection is greater, and I’ll take my chance at the girl I’m hitting on. Who knows she may actually talk to you because shes making conversation, not because she wants 50bucks. If she leaves with me, it may only cost me a few drinks…whats that like 40 bucks total?????

But those days are over…..so in conclusion, strip clubs are dumb…in my opinion, but great if you want to have a business meeting or accomplish something. Am I crazy? well DUH!!! But think about that the next time you are in Miami and have to give a stripper 5 bucks just so she will stop asking you for a dance…Once you see a C-section scar, it sort of ruins the whole fantasy!

....And in the beginning, Pete created success

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 17:09:00 -0500

Well, I started a blog people. But I prefer to look at it more as me thinking out loud and sharing it with all of you to read. I’ve been told all the typical narcissistic compliments like, “you are so full of yourself” or “whoa! you got a big head” or my favorite, “WOW, you really love yourself!” To all those people, BLAH! I don’t care. If you can’t love yourself, then you won’t know how to love others :-)

I would like to think that I walk a fine line between confidence and cockiness, yet i try to stay humble and keep that ego of mine in check. so WHY? Why am I sitting here telling you all this. It’s simple…. I write and have Hollywood screenwriting aspirations, but I’ve been put off lately, so this is a way to have my cake and eat it too. This helps me to write everyday and become disciplined, while entertaining at the same time as you read what actually goes on in my head while that hamster is running on the wheel. So I hope you laugh and cry or have something to say!!!! ENJOY!

TO START_ I noticed something strange this weekend while abusing my liver. And by abusing, I mean I love my liver to death (obviously) but i occasionally get angry at it. It is soon followed by my abuse to my stomach. So what have I discovered? TACOS and SHOTS are closely related and have the same effect on the body! And the reason we love them sooooo much is the same reason we hate them.

If I happen to be playing the game of DRINK on a given weekend, I try to stay away from shots. Nothing good comes from them late at night, just like NOTHING good comes from late night tacos the next day. We take shots late because they are good and it makes sense to get drunk faster. We eat tacos after because they are good and make us happy faster!! But then what happens? the shots make us hungover, and the tacos make my stomach feel like shit and the heartburn kicks in. These two sisters of the late night are evil yet addicting; scrumptious yet disgusting and we all need to stay away, unless under the proper supervision. Its amazing how related the two are.

Next, let me tell you what has been pissing me off more and more this entire summer. ALLLLL these fucking assholes riding their bikes on the sidewalk. Now I’m not a parent with a kid or walk at a snails pace like other people, so I cant even imagine what a mother thinks when some idiot zips by her kids stroller. There are bike lanes in Chicago all over the city, and if there isn’t, you should know to ride in the street WITH the traffic. Isn’t that why we learned the rules of the road? I swear, the next time one of these morons comes towards me I may just jump out and scare him or her…and/or push them into a building. WHY? Well first, it would amuse me and make me laugh hysterically in the most devilish way I can. Next, it would satisfy all the other people trying to enjoy a stroll. And finally, i hope it would teach them a lesson. I’m not too concerned with the injuries sustained, because I’m sure I could explain to a cop that this idiot fucked up and hit a crack or came too close to a tree, I’m confident that if there was anyone around they would back up my story.

Well here’s a taste. I hope you like and enjoy my darkly, humorous yet sick and twisted, demented thoughts that make up who I am. I assure, I am not insane, but rather a really good person, that would rather get it all out than die of a brain aneurysm..shit i hope I spelled that right…spell check did not pop up…until tomorrow.. PTK

"The sky is the limit for me; to stay grounded I keep my head in the gutter!"

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 08:25:45 -0500

““The sky is the limit for me; to stay grounded I keep my head in the gutter!””

- Pete Vina Jr